You realize this is the start of a brilliant monologue.

It’s like Seinfeld crossed with Roseanne Roseannadanna.

It wandered, then apologized for wandering, then apologized for apologizing, then apologized for being, and entertained all the while.

I’m not being sarcastic. I don’t laugh much and this cracked me up. I think you’ve got real comedic talent. Not everyone can do this. Maybe you should think about giving up your day job.

For real. That good. I smiled throughout but, at the last line I lost it. “So, at your expense, dear reader, I’m going to press ‘Publish’.”

I could just picture your hand on the mouse, cursor on the “Publish” button, you pause and take another hit of whatever you were doing at the time and — CLICK — take that, suckers! Mwahahahaha! (fiendish laugh)

Too good, honestly, too good.

Can you keep this up for ten minutes? If so, and you’re not already doing stand-up, you should think about it. Either way, thanks for the laughs. I hope whomever you were skewering wasn’t too badly wounded.